I stumbled on this website a few weeks back when looking for some parenting advice, after reading a few threads I got hooked. As a 38 year old dad of 3 year old twins, married for 5 years, I have learned a lot and am thankful to have found this raw resource. Many of the stories have some relevance to my life and has raised the awareness of my choices. I would like to thanks everyone for sharing their experiences / opinions which has helped enlighten me.
I have been shocked at how obvious situations are once you learn to recognize the signs / pattern (or script as they call it). Reading your thread is painful as it is a repeat of many of the sad stories told here. The best thing you can do for yourself is read as much as you can on this site about similar situations (search emotional affair) and get your head out of your ass and ahead of the curve. Please read this thread as I fear it is where your story is heading Wife having an emotional affair. How to handle it?
I wish you nothing but the best but can tell you from experience that the nice guy routine is going to eat you alive. The only thing that has a chance of working is manning up and setting boundaries (again, do the research and find out what that means). Of course there are no guarantees but I can tell you if manning up does not work then the fact is you picked a loser.
The final thing I want to say is I know you are thinking "this guy does not know what he is talking about, I am man enough and I don't need some jerk telling me otherwise..." this is a defensive mechanism, you have to find a way to push out of your comfort zone. To grow and become the man you know you can be not the person life has squeezed you into. Again, the best way to do this is read, read, read, especially on this site. If you find a way to be honest with yourself and open to growing, you might be able to grow enough and in the process win your wife back.
Bahhh, this site is so frustrating, it makes me want to cry. It's like watching sleep walkers walk in front of an oncoming train.
Please read that link I posted, I'm no fortune teller but that is likely your story. There's so much more I want to say but being this is my first post, I'll shut up and let the experts spoon feed you, I just hope you can digest it fast enough.