| | I love my wife and want our marriage to work but is that enough
I have been married for just over 18 years now. About 3 months ago my wife told me she wanted a divorce or at least a separation. She explained to me how she cared about me but wasn't in love with me anymore. Went on about all these things that I did that she didn't like. I accepted that before things could work in our marriage that I needed to make some changes in myself and I have tried to make these changes. In making these changes I have found that I actually feel better about myself. The problem that I am running into is that I found some information that has led me to a secret email and facebook account. Reading the facebook account was a real eye opener and i know that this year she has cheated on me with at least 1 guy on at least 1 occasion and possibly more. She also admitted to me about a 1 night stand a few weeks ago. I have tried to be understanding and forgave her for the one night stand. She has not confessed to the person involved in the facebook page as of yet. I want to give her some space but we are currently living in Germany and due to some legal issues I can not work over here. We have talked about moving back to the states and then taking a separation while we attend marital counseling. over the last week things have really seemed to be picking up and looking like we could possibly work things out. The problem I am having right now is my wife's work takes her out of town. She is at the Hotel right now where she had the one night stand and that she meet the person from the facebook page i was talking about. They have a club at the hotel and she says she goes there to dance. I talked to her at about 8:45 this evening and her and the other people from her work were going to have a few drinks in her room and then go to the club for a little while. I tried calling her about 9:10 just to tell her something and no answer and now it is 2:30 in the morning here and still nothing. She is suppose to call me or text me when she gets back from the club and I haven't heard anything yet. I want to trust her but I get to the point that I don't know.
Yes I have not been perfect in our marriage. But I have always trusted her until now. I want to trust her and think that she is just at the club dancing but it is hard.
I have no idea what to do. I love my wife and want to make my marriage work but I also don't want to be an idiot either and have her cheating on me why supposedly trying to work things out.