Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Living your life based on someone else making you happy or not
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Old 06-21-2011, 02:12 PM   #7 (permalink)
Sawney Beane
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Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 816
Default Re: Living your life based on someone else making you happy or not

Quote:
Originally Posted by magnoliagal View Post
I agree what I was saying is if YOU change I mean truly change then it's unlikely you'd take crap anymore. That changes the dynamic because you are now in charge and no longer a doormat. The other can do nothing that's true but you now will no longer tolerate it. Hence the dynamic changes.

Lets say I'm married to an alcoholic. I finally start changing by attending Al anon, quit being co-depedent, etc. The alcoholic says whatever I'm not giving up the booze. But I've changed I'm stronger so I now have the courage to leave. That other person might not have changed but I certainly have changed the relationship because now I'm out of it.

Make sense?
If you're going to leave (e.g.), you've changed. The relationship has changed. The other person doesn't have to have changed at all. In your example, the other person can still be sitting there like a sack of sh1t as you walk out of the door, totally unchanged.
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