whathap2me

I have been married for eight years and have two beautiful children. It seems my marriage have been through every horrible thing possible. We (my husband and I) had so much love for each other. Overnight all of that seemed to change. We have treated each other so awful, said so many things, done so many things to each other. I use to be a bundle of emotions from sadness, anger, regretful, etc., but now all I feel is this awful numbness. I feel like I can not function at work, with my kids. I feel withdrawn in social settings...I feel like I dont fit in. I recently took my kids to an amusement park and had an artist draw our portrait. When I took a look at the finished product I felt like crying...I looked so sad and tired. I practically pleaded with the artist to redraw my features so I would look less sad. Now, I see what everyone else sees when they look at me. Now I know why everyone ask me constantly "what's wrong, what's wrong." Oh, I cant tell you how much I hate that question.
Please, please can anyone tell me does this numbness every go away. Will I every stop making stupid choices. Can you believe I thought I could leave my husband but still have him come over to my home and be with the kids anytime he liked (I just loathe women who dicatated when the kids father can see their own children) Do you know how that ended up. With the man I use to LOVE peeing on my bed because he was angry. How did I get here, will this madness ever ever end.