Originally Posted by Trinity
I know what makes my husband tick. I know his values and he knows mine. I know what he likes and dislikes. I know what pushes his buttons or will set him off after 13 years. I do not do those things he does not like or is against his values because I care for him and respect him. I try not to do things intentionally to hurt him.
I feel disrespected because he knew I would be unhappy if he did the photo shoot like that but he did not care about my feelings and did it anyway. It is as simple as that I guess. He did not care about what I thought. He dismissed me. As if my feelings were not more important then him taking pictures of girls in lingerie. That is not respect in my eyes.
He did not care and I am his wife and he should care I felt. I am his wife and thought I deserved to be the priority, not a photo shoot like that. He knew which is hard for me to accept I guess.
Hopefully that is more clear to explain why I feel disrespected. I need to find a way to move on but am struggeling with the my hurt feelings.
Like I said before, he was not right. He knows that. I know that, you know that. I'm not defending him in any way.
I've heard the same things from my wife concerning different circumstances. He sounds a lot like me.
Let me just say this one little thing as a guy that's been in a similar situation, that just because he did something stupid like that, made a bad choice doesn't mean that he doesn't love you and doesn't respect you. Many guys have problems with this when they are around other guys (I did and still do to a point).
It's like a group of male lions strutting their stuff. They don't want to look un-masculine in front of other men. With some it overpowers them to the point that they do some stupid things. Normally they aren't HUGE things like cheating or anything like that. Normally it's things like this, were they can somehow justify it in their head when the situation presents itself (like his comments about you should be comfortable enough in the relationship, trust him after 13 years, and it was artistic, etc.) And usually, once they've "left the heard" they realize what they had done... which was about the time he called you to confess about it.
I know all of this sounds stupid (and again, it's not right). I guess all I'm doing is kind of giving you some outside opinions as to what he was thinking at the time. Not condoning it, not defending it, but hopefully kind of giving you some insight and understanding that could maybe help you deal with it, and possibly forgive him down the road.