Originally Posted by sacredheart
He just really had me believing that he possibly didn't do anything inappropriate with her...I'm just dumb...
Your not dumb, your weak. You have been systematically broken down. That's a result of being the victim of prolonged abuse. Mental and emotional. Read up on the term "gaslighting" and educate yourself on it. See if the things you read about are familiar to you. Then read up on general emotional abuse.
Think about your relationship, does this sound familiar?
Phase 1 - TENSION BUILDING:
Tension increases, breakdown of communication, victim feels need to placate the abuser
Phase 2 - INCIDENT:
Verbal and emotional abuse. Anger, blaming, arguing. Threats. Intimidation.
Phase 3 - RECONCILIATION:
Abuser apologizes, gives excuses, blames the victim, denies the abuse occurred, or says it wasn't as bad as the victim claims.
Phase 4 - CALM:
Incident is "forgotten", no abuse is taking place.
Then it recycles back to
Phase 1 - TENSION BUILDING
Phase 2 - INCIDENT
Phase 3 - RECONCILIATION
Phase 4 - CALM ETc... Etc... ETc...