| | new here,and a question
New here, so hi to everyone and thanks for reading. Im hoping to find some comfort in knowing others are going through the same thing. This is a bit about my story.
In short, Ive been separated for 3 weeks now, had to move 5,000 miles away from him because I had no other option but to move back home with my parents. It kills me every second of the day, the only relief is when I manage to fall asleep for a couple hours. He told me our marriage was a mistake, he didn't love me, and he was 99% sure of it. I never saw it coming. He treated me like a queen, told me he loved me everyday(without me saying it),done everything a person would do when they are in love with someone-flowers,holding my hand everywhere we went.. etc. He says he is a living lie - basically he used and lied to me the whole time we were married.
I am having a really rough time, I am still in love with him, I miss him a lot, I think about him a lot. I cant do anything. Since Ive been home I haven't gone out of the house except for once, my mother took me shopping (she thought buying new clothes might help me feel better), it made me feel worse because the town we went to was a place my stbx and I visted and stayed in frequently. The whole time I was out I was petrified of running into someone I knew, and around every corner there was a memory and a couple tears to follow it(In public). I feel really embarrassed about myself, Im humiliated and crushed.
My stbx and I are from the same small town, although he isnt here because of work 5000 miles away, his whole family is, along with everyone else here who knows me well (it is a very small town). I was wondering how long it took some of you to start hanging around/seeing family and people in general again, I am afraid that when I see someone and they talk to me or ask me a question I will just completely break down. I know it can't be healthy for me to not leave the house, but I don't feel like Im ready to leave, even to the grocery store. Now Im scared that I will never feel ready again. I don't want to see or talk to anyone.
Thanks for listening