Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Any 180 success stories????
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Old 06-24-2011, 11:49 PM   #3 (permalink)
the guy
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 7,294
Default Re: Any 180 success stories????

Yes, but I was always neglectful so doing a 180 was more about my own adabtation of it.
I confronted my wife as business as usual and it was a matter of fact....what she wanted and her perception of ...well me not caring.

I mean it was so emotionaless (if thats a term) even though I really cared I gave my cheating wife a non emotional response to her admission that it made her second guess her response to my response.

Its wierd but I found that with little emotion from me, my wife wasn't sure on what to expect. It wasn't about me it was more on what she wanted.
If she felt confused well then I wasn't going to beg or plead....I just had the additude were I wanted a dicision from her right then and there. I mean I showed this " I don't give a f*ck" perseption were her next words out of her mouth were going to keep me around or not.
I believe she thought I would have bailed if she didn't make the commitment right then and there. It was all about empowerment, when she saw that she had none, it was out of self preservation that she made a choice right there " him or me "

Granted I did my investigation and research and it was my nkowledge that this was the best way to handle it...see several weeks earlier I had gone down that road of self pity and when I approached her cheating in a .."weak way" I saw the look in her eyes that said "now you care @ss hole". I saw this and stepped back, walked away and reapproached her with more evidence and a stronger/confident additude.

So yes a 180 in my own additude did make a difference when I confronted her and in getting her to see that things...the behaviors in my self were no longer going to tolorate her past behaviors.

My 180 was done during the confrontation, not so much in fighting her fog. I think she was coming out of the fog when I "all most "confronted her, but when I regrouped and "manned up" my confrotation was more effective.

That is why I believe it is so important for a spouse to really make a game plan before they confront. The confrontation if done right can make all the difference in the world. Ones 180 must be implimented before the confrontation..I think it has to be done when one starts to investage or the suspicion on infidelity starts.
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