Re: after d-day stuff..
I agree w/others on here about letting her in your house. I'm not completely understanding what your wife popping into your home to watch your child has anything to do with her aunt watching the child. I get that the aunt doesn't want to go to your W's place because of the OM, but what is preventing your W from watching your child at her place.
She's not going to get how difficult this is going to be if she still has a presence in the home.
How can she miss her old life, when she's always there?
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