Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Re: Please help me see the light...
I was watching Gene Simmons the other day, it was an episode of him and his wife going through a "tiff", she moved out and the kids were bothered. Well.. his son quoted his father once telling him that, "when you have kids, the rules change." and they do... I am the mother of soon to be three and my husband and I have a similar situation except that we only live an hour away. It can be hard. I want to live with my mom and he won't leave his dads side. I'd rather live in our own house, but he seems to not be ready... I took a sociology class this passed semester and read a sad line in the first chapter of the book, we "Americans" are the only ones in the world that will go to such extremes as to move away to a different state for our own happiness, even if it means to leave our families behind." We're selfish when it comes to our happiness and doing things for ourselves.
Yes your wife has her issues, but later on the only ones that are going to suffer are the children. It's easy to tell you, GO be Happy somewhere else. That's the obvious choice for you, right? but you are here because it doesn't feel right... for a reason.
"The rules change when you have kids." you leave them now, and they will only know you through pictures, eventually a new daddy will take your place... there is marriage counseling and getaway weekends for your wife and you to fix your problems enough.
Financially, it makes sense to move back to the city. But it is hard to live away from family. my husband has a better job in Los Angeles, an hour from where my family lives, and I have agreed to stay with him for that reason only. It's summer though and I am with my family. Talk about taking long vacations for her and the boys during the summers, if she's not working. Anything.. Don't just jumpy to the conclusion that you are done with her and your kids and your off to a new beginning without them.
I really hope you guys find common ground somewhere and I hope that you don't become a stranger to your kids because once they grow up, your absence is all they will remember.