Originally Posted by bab123
We have been married for 25 years. When he said "he wasn't good at it" means just that. For the first part of our marriage, he was happy just with a couple of positions and bj's. This goes back to the other post I wrote were I said that I have tried to show/tell him what I like to no avail. He has tried giving me oral, but really doesn't like to. It just leads to frustration and me gently telling him we would try later, which never comes.
When we try variety, he goes flacid. The only way he gets hard again is if I give him a bj, and the only one who gets off is him. Lately even trying to give him a bj doesn't work.
In the past we have also used a natural remedy which actually works. Keeps him hard so we can try different positions. Because of the nature of "natural remedies" I have been reluctant to give it to him too often. These products do not have the approval of the FDA, and even though the ingrediants are listed, you don't know all the side affects.( one of them for him is a raging headache in the morning)
It doesn't help matters that he has gained 25 pounds, and is developing a gut.
Saying "I love You" doesn't have much of a zing to it these days.
There are some real ED issues there. There also appear to be some self-image, confidence issues. You can be in a sexless marriage from here on out, or you can tell him you love him, want him, but you're not going to be driven crazy NOT being able to have him. So, he either takes the issue seriously and gets help, or you're out the door.