I've told my husband many times that I can't do it anymore...those words cannot be undone but his actions also cannot be undone. Yes, I have felt many many time that I can't go on with this and that I can't be married to a cheater - but after the rage subsides, I realize that even though I feel like I can't go on sometimes, I have been going on for months now. We are getting through it... in the time that we need.
I have the same thoughts as you...how could he have done something so horrible to me...and since he did do it, does that mean that he doesn't love me and really loves her? I can't prove that. No matter how many times I ask...I will never get a true answer...or excuse me, an answer I believe. What he says may be true (that he never did love her) but from what I have read and seen, it's hard to believe. All I know is that I am just watching what happens here... I am seeing how he treats me and what he is doing to show me that he in fact, does love me. That's all I can do right now... it's the only thing that keeps me going. Infidelity Rage