Quote:
Originally Posted by draconis
Hey I'd move into the open room and refuse to do his share of the house work. He might be working long hours but he should still be doing some of the house work if you are providing some of the income and his clothes and his food are the perfect place to start. If he wants his parents so much that he can't have a civil discussion with his wife about it then I agree with you that you need to find a way out because you will always be second to him.
draconis
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and the feeling of being second is terrible.
we had an enormous fight last night about all of it. my honesty about my feelings completely backfired on me. and guess what? he told me that if his parents coming makes me so unhappy, then he's going to tell them to ignore me and not to speak to me because i don't like them interfering in my life. i'd never quite heard anyone react so immaturely and stupidly before. it was quite shocking. then i told him that he's going to ruin perfectly fine relationships by doing that and as it is he doesn't have any relationship with my parents, so he should not hinder in my relationships with his, but he just went on to say that his parents have done nothing wrong to me so there's no reason why i should dislike them.
how can a person be so blind to the wrongs that others do? i know they are his parents, but still!
so i told him that i was ok with the plan of them staying for a week and then moving out to some other place till they have a feel of the area (though his mother already knows all there is to know in the area) and he got pissed, and downright asked me who am i to decide how much time his parents can stay here.
i answered that 'i'm your wife, that's who i am'.
but no, his parents mean more. what's a wife in front of the parents? nothing, crap.
so anyway, i couldn't take anymore and started crying... lots n lots... got sick and threw up... and then he tried getting all caring... but why? why care when the reason i'm hurting is the person itself? i was extremely hurt and mad, so i told him to leave me alone for the night, to just stop talking to me for a while. and i think his ego couldn't take it, so he turned the tables around and said he'll leave me alone for the whole of tonight and the whole of tomorrow (i.e today) and tomorrow night (tonight) as well. he just HAD to have the last word.
so then he let me be...
but when he came to sleep (i was fast asleep) he pulled me close to him and hugged me while we slept, i was too sleepy to bother pull away.
and when he woke up early, he came to my side of the bed and kissed me on my forehead.
what's he upto? i just can't understand what's going on in his head. i know he loves me and needs me. but i wish he'd also respect me. he thinks he does. but hey, ask me, he just doesn't.
anyway, i've pretty much already made up my mind though it's going to be very very difficult to see this through.
we've been together for 4 years and i love him... but i guess i have to do what i have to do for my own happiness now, enough of compromising and sacrificing.
anyway, i've decided that the minute anything goes terribly wrong, and when the time for his parents to come approaches and he still doesn't make any other arrangements and insists on them coming to stay with us, and if he's told them to ignore me etc, well then my life will become hell because my mother in law is one damn *****y person, i've seen her at work hating other people, so i seriously don't want to be at the receiving end of that crap. so i'll move out and stay with my cousin and his wife and kids for some time, they have their own house and a spare room, so that should be ok for a few days. they live quite far from where i work, but it's ok, i'll deal with it for some time. and my cousin will help me find another place closer by then. so there.
then he can do whatever it is he wants with his parents. move to a flat, get them to stay in this house permanently or WHATEVER. i couldn't care less.