 Re: How to get turned on by my husband?
Gem it's not uncommon for men and women to harbor unrealistic expectations of what marriage entails. It's not a constant diet of romance but even better. It can be a deep sense of love, caring and friendship for another that you don't feel with anyone else. But you have to let go of romantic notions and learn how to make it work.
Resentment is common if communication is poor and fighting is "dirty" especially for women. We have a tendency to hold on to memories of past wrongs. However, if he is sayng mean things to you then I can see why you are losing sexual attraction for him. Women need to feel connected to a man and feel loved to maintain an attraction. Careless words are a definite buz killer for women but not usually for men.
Does your husband know the effect his words have on your desire for him? Is he willing to be careful what he says to avoid turning you off to him? If he knows and continues then he must be willing to accept the consequences. You can put it to him in the form of a boundery, you will not longer accept careless words from him he can say them if he wants but you will not stay around to listen or stay engaged with him. It's up to him.
There is a lot going on in your marriage and I think you need a their party to help. Would MC be a possibility for you and your husband? If he does not go then you go alone, it will still help. It may also help to get some relationship books." His needs her needs" and "the five love languages" are two good ones.
Men think very differently from women; we are both wired differently due to male and female hormones. You should both learn about this; if your husband is not interested then you do the reading in your own.
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