mollyL

Dear heart, if you think you can't afford counseling, that's not true. If you can't get help through the state, there are private practices that charge a patient by their ability to pay. If you belong to a church they should be able to point you toward therapy. There are some health care systems (such as a hospital attached to doctor's clinics) that have their own systems that will do the same thing. Call them and ask.
But, more to the point, what doctor diagnosed you with so many problems and why hasn't he gotten you counseling? It's not supposed to be that a doctor tells you "Well, you are bi-polar" and then doesn't take steps to get you on medication (which there are also programs to make it affordable) and get you whatever other treatments you may need. I felt just like you with also the social anxiety, I was diagnosed as bi-polar and given appropriate medication and counseling. I cannot tell you how much it has changed my life and my family's life, all for the good. I can get depressive feelings but they are now under control. I enjoy being in social situations now and I look forward now, not behind.I was in counseling for a couple of years but I don't feel the need for it now, and with my psychologist's blessing, I don't go anymore. Please, dear, call your doctor tomorrow. Life is so good and beautiful...some years ago I never thought I'd say it again. Someday you can say the same thing if you will fight for yourself now.