Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

username · 01-15-2008, 09:59 AM

So sorry...i know its not easy, but if its any consolation - at least you KNOW now.

Not to make this post about "me" but what i'm finding the hardest is giving my husband a second chance and living with the suspicion/lack of trust. I recall when i found out the first time about the affair, what a weird calm feeling came over me because i realized that I WASN'T CRAZY, that my suspicions/hurt feelings were right.

I take comfort in the fact that if he does it again, the answer is pretty clear cut - its over. I'm proud of you for showing him the door (on Christmas, too!) i know it couldn't have been easy. At least you can now move on with peace of mind and the decision is clear. And lets face it, the fact that he went straight to 'her' should only make it easier for you to move on - as you acknowledged. There was a long time where my husband was 'not sure' about 'what and who' he wanted and was so back and forth, it was torture. I felt, as a dutiful wife, a responsibility to remind him/show him that he was making a mistake/giving up on all we had accomplished together and that pressure to try and carry the marriage was really hard. Just think, you are free and clear now. Free to surround yourself with honest and good people, friends and family who will recognize that you did the right thing and no more guilt, suspicion, or feeling that it was your fault. Embrace that! Show your kids that you believe that in an authentic, honest life not to be compromised! you can do it!

01-15-2008, 09:59 AM	#12 (permalink)
username Registered User Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 7	Re: Cheated on again! So sorry...i know its not easy, but if its any consolation - at least you KNOW now. Not to make this post about "me" but what i'm finding the hardest is giving my husband a second chance and living with the suspicion/lack of trust. I recall when i found out the first time about the affair, what a weird calm feeling came over me because i realized that I WASN'T CRAZY, that my suspicions/hurt feelings were right. I take comfort in the fact that if he does it again, the answer is pretty clear cut - its over. I'm proud of you for showing him the door (on Christmas, too!) i know it couldn't have been easy. At least you can now move on with peace of mind and the decision is clear. And lets face it, the fact that he went straight to 'her' should only make it easier for you to move on - as you acknowledged. There was a long time where my husband was 'not sure' about 'what and who' he wanted and was so back and forth, it was torture. I felt, as a dutiful wife, a responsibility to remind him/show him that he was making a mistake/giving up on all we had accomplished together and that pressure to try and carry the marriage was really hard. Just think, you are free and clear now. Free to surround yourself with honest and good people, friends and family who will recognize that you did the right thing and no more guilt, suspicion, or feeling that it was your fault. Embrace that! Show your kids that you believe that in an authentic, honest life not to be compromised! you can do it!