Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Wife tells me not to confront the guy she had a PA with or his fiance.
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Old 07-19-2011, 10:52 AM   #1 (permalink)
howcouldshe
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 74
Default Wife tells me not to confront the guy she had a PA with or his fiance.

She has said that I should not confront the OM fiance, saying we dont know her and that is the OM and Fiances issue to work out if he tells her. I can see that but on the same note as one that was betrayed, I would never want anyone else to have to feel that way and she is going to marry him and some point. Also in my mind it will be nice to put his life in a tailspin as mine has been.....is that sick and twisted or normal......My feeling is she is trying to protect him for what ever sick reason, even though she says he was never an optiion and they dont even talk anymore.

About 4 weeks after I became aware of the PA I confronted him when I saw him at the supermarket, he played dumb and told me he did not know anything about what I was talking about.

When I got home I told my wife that I saw him and confronted him. She was angry at me for doing that and also told me she felt bad for him as he would have no one to talk to that night about me confronting him.,......

I later find a text that she sent him that said "sorry about that tonight" speaking to my actions of talking to him.

The text that she sent him after we both said we were not going to talk to him sends a pretty clear message to me.......

For what its worth he did not reply to her.........

For the most part she wants to sweep the whole PA under the rug and thinks we need to move on, that to me is a red flag that there is more that she does not want me to know about or she feels that will make it better. I can tell you this is not something on my end that is being swept under the rug it will be discussed and she will have to make some changes and be very transparent if she wants things to work, she will also have to be full discloure as far as where she is and what she is doing.

On a final note she walks/runs several times a week. I know for a fact that she passes his Apt on these trips as it is part of the way she goes, in light of everything I would think that she would want to avoid his place to show good faith that she is not being tempted in any way......if it was me that had the afair I would on PURPOSE choose another route and let my spouse know this..........

Thoughts and as always
Thanks
'
On another note if you want a upbeat song that hits home how you need to deal with these issues check this out. Just listen to the words, does not matter if you are a man or woman
Lasgo -Lost http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q13NpY6BPI4&feature=fvst

Last edited by howcouldshe; 07-19-2011 at 11:09 AM.
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