| | Re: LONG & UGLY...this is a bad one...ANY HOPE????
I know me assualting him was not a good move...my boys did not see that as it was in the house he was renting, and my boys were at my house. It was not like I even hurt him more than a couple of scratches...he is 6'3" and I am 5'4". It was my raw emotion coming to the surface. Don't get me wrong...I am not defending what I did...really, I'm not. I'm the one who has to be in the legal system now...I have no prior criminal history.
Yes, his post did come in after mine...I told him about this site and he thought maybe he could get some good advice. He was appreciative of the post by Draconis. He had not even thought of his acts as being selfish. After thinking about that and talking about it, he realizes how selfish he is...not just in his infidelity but in other aspects of what our marriage was.
He was so secretive about this that the kids had no idea...they event thought it was their fault when he left....which I talked to them a lot about to make sure they knew it had nothing to do with them or me, that it was strictly his issue.
I honestly wish there was a way for this all to be fixed...but I can't see how. He seems very sincere...and for the first time in his life has admitted that he has a problem and is seeking help. Despite how this all makes him sound, he is a good person....he has made some massive and i mean MASSIVE mistakes. It just seems like most of our marriage was absolutely wonderful and then he went off the deep end bad. His background plays a big part in all of this I think...his last marriage was not normal in any way...his wife insisted on threesomes and swinging...he was appalled by the idea at first, but when she said that was the only way she would be happy, he went along with it. They lived a very poor lifestyle, pawning items to make bills, moveing from apartment to apartment every six months. When he married me...life was so different than what he was used to. I have a nice house, nice vehicles, ect...but with that comes a lot of responsibility and bills. When we married, his four children came to live with us making a total of 9 kids. We started a business...talk about stress. Because of all the money that was needed to start the business, and some unwise spending on both our parts, we filed for bankruptcy last May...coincidently just months before this all started. It just seems as thought the stress got to be too much for him, and he reverted to his old lifestyle. He has been absolutly miserable since this all happened.
As for the minor, she was 17, which in this state is past the age of consent, so the charges were dropped for the communicating. He knows it was wrong even if he's not getting in legal trouble for it. He will not have to register as a sex offender. I am sickened by all of his actions. Sadly, I do love him very much and would like to give him another chance. I can't help but see the potential he has if he can confront and deal with his issues. I cannot imagine life without him. I know that is hard to understand...I can barely sort out my own feelings right now...I am actually looking forward to his 45 day stay in jail for the assault, so I can sort out my feelings without talking to him and seeing him.