Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

MJW_01 · 07-17-2007, 12:06 AM

I am writing now because I need a womans advice. Heres the issue-

My girlfriend (25 y/o) and I (32 y/o) have been together for four years now. I proposed to her two years ago and at first she said yes and then the next day said no. We now have a beautiful daughter together. She has brought up marriage however I now am extremely insecure about it because of the previous turndown.

Now with the current situation- On Easter I came home and overheard a conversation (that i should not have heard) she was having with her friend. She told her that I was a bad father, and that she knew that i was cheating on her (which I was not) and that she had already arranged moving in with her mother. At that point I was extremely hurt and upset and proceeded to tell her that she could leave now and that there was no reason for her to stay. Needless to say she did not move out till the week of July 4th. Now she says that alot of it stemmed from me being gone all the time and not taking her feelings into consideration (guilty again). I currently own a security company and work nights. I was also doing sidework remoldeling a friends basement during the day for approximatly six weeks. During this time period she got the impression that I no longer wanted to be with her and that I was cheating on her. She also stated to me that I became more involved with my friends than i was with her, which i agree that i am guilty of. I began to really pull away and sink into my own little hole. I had asked her to stay but she seemed to have made up her mind stating that she could not take being put in second place anymore, which again i admit that i did. I love this woman with all my heart and truely want to work this out. I dont want my daughter to grow up without a stable home and family as i did. I guess my question now is what can i do to get her to trust that i am willing to change all this and get our relationship back on track?

I just read (in two days) Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. It gave me a lot of insight on what I had done wrong in the relationship, but told me nothing as far as what to do when a woman has given up on the relationship and moved out. I know I dont need her, but do want her in my life. She fills that void in my life when I feel that i have failed at everything else.

07-17-2007, 12:06 AM	#1 (permalink)
MJW_01 Registered User Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Colorado Posts: 2	Recent Seperation I am writing now because I need a womans advice. Heres the issue- My girlfriend (25 y/o) and I (32 y/o) have been together for four years now. I proposed to her two years ago and at first she said yes and then the next day said no. We now have a beautiful daughter together. She has brought up marriage however I now am extremely insecure about it because of the previous turndown. Now with the current situation- On Easter I came home and overheard a conversation (that i should not have heard) she was having with her friend. She told her that I was a bad father, and that she knew that i was cheating on her (which I was not) and that she had already arranged moving in with her mother. At that point I was extremely hurt and upset and proceeded to tell her that she could leave now and that there was no reason for her to stay. Needless to say she did not move out till the week of July 4th. Now she says that alot of it stemmed from me being gone all the time and not taking her feelings into consideration (guilty again). I currently own a security company and work nights. I was also doing sidework remoldeling a friends basement during the day for approximatly six weeks. During this time period she got the impression that I no longer wanted to be with her and that I was cheating on her. She also stated to me that I became more involved with my friends than i was with her, which i agree that i am guilty of. I began to really pull away and sink into my own little hole. I had asked her to stay but she seemed to have made up her mind stating that she could not take being put in second place anymore, which again i admit that i did. I love this woman with all my heart and truely want to work this out. I dont want my daughter to grow up without a stable home and family as i did. I guess my question now is what can i do to get her to trust that i am willing to change all this and get our relationship back on track? I just read (in two days) Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. It gave me a lot of insight on what I had done wrong in the relationship, but told me nothing as far as what to do when a woman has given up on the relationship and moved out. I know I dont need her, but do want her in my life. She fills that void in my life when I feel that i have failed at everything else.