Originally Posted by southbound
Does anyone here feel that the times, surroundings, etc., can influence a person's emotional needs? For example, I think both of my grandmothers, who passed away many years ago in their 90s, would think these "Love Languages" and "Walk away Wife" is a bunch of nonsense. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it is, I'm just saying that they would have.
They always talked positive about my grandfathers and it crushed them when they passed away. But their positive talks always centered around how they were hard workers and providers, and how they were morally, decent men. They seemed very fulfilled and happy with their lives.
To be honest, my mother is even this way. My parents never made a big deal out of anniversaries, birthdays, valentine's day, etc. I've heard my mother say several times that she thought things like that was nonsense. Yet, she was very happy with my dad because he was a good man and he worked hard for the family, and he was very handsome too. I've heard her say over the years that there wasn't a better man anywhere.
Is it possible that having a hard working man in their day was emotionally fulfilling, whereas, that has changed with the times due to changes in our society and environment?
You are incredibly lucky that you have that legacy with your relatives. That's awesome!
Often times a woman stayed with her husband "back in the day" because she literally had no options to leave. Back then cheating was tolerated as long as it wasn't tossed in the wife's face and abuse was rampant. It was viewed as immoral to divorce over either of those situations. No "proper" woman divorced her husband and if she did, she was viewed as the problem.
Fast forward to today....many blame feminism for the high divorce rate. Perhaps that has some merit but I hesitate to put the blame solidly on that. I think that in this day and age when most women work full time jobs and are also largely responsible for the childcare, housework and cooking that they just see a husband who doesn't pull his share as being undesirable. Their needs aren't being met and in turn, they feel used and taken advantage of.
Granted, that's a pretty general synopsis but I see this happening all the time. Husband comes from mommy's house and wants a wife to take care of him. Wife works full time and sees her husband not pulling his fair share. She becomes resentful and angry and the rest is history.