Originally Posted by southbound
Hmm, interesting. I never thought of that. I feel i have self esteem, but I could be wrong. I have confidence at my job because I do a good job and get good reports. I have no trouble being in crowds in general. In other words, some people hate walking into a crowded arena or having to get up and walk in front of everybody to go get a hot dog; I'm not like that, I couldn't care less.
I feel a bit awkward around people in social situations sometimes because I don't usually have a lot in common with them. When people start talking about sport or politics, I just have to mumble a bit and sit there.
Same here. I have even shown horses at the national level and had to go out alone before three judges. I think we all have areas we are extremely confident in, but can still suffer from a low self-esteem. That was puzzling my therapist as well.
Anyway, after a two hour consultation with the psychologist (& therapist) my eyes were opened. The statement which you made in your initial post may be an indication. "I realize that most women just aren't interested.....". I was guilty of making statements similar to that too. Without realizing it, it shows insecurity and a need to justify current behavior. It's going to be a tough habit for me to kick!
If I remember correctly you were also a victim of a cheating spouse who decided the grass was greener on the other side of the fence. Those of us who go through this can end up with a lot of phycological baggage. I now see that. Deep down it is a blow to one's self-esteem because we feel second best many times. Seeing a therapist has been a blessing for me. You may want to give that a try.