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the guy · 08-07-2011, 02:20 PM

All the more reason to show her the black and white proof of her bad behavior. I understand there maybe other issues (BPD) also at hand, but..........

In my experience I showed my WW the text and pictures that forced the issue. What I mean is something that was so undenialbe and with out any explaination that yes she was in an affair.

I mean going to bed with my W and waking up in the middle of the night to find her gone and then waking up to find her sleeping next to me. Come on, she wakes up likes nothing wrong and when I confront her, its explained away with going to help out a friend.

She found it unnessesary to wake me and tell me..ok fine why didn't she pick up her cell. Well as this happened several times, there always seemed to be a reason and even when she went out and never came home until the morning...again another reason.

Each time asking if there was another man, and of course there was no one else. I believe it was to horrible for her to face.

But when faced with the reality that she is actualy looking at the unhealthy behavior in front of her own eyes...the ughly text, the pictures confirming her unhealthy and dumb choices she is making under the cover of darkness. As this vampire continues to validate her behavior and convince her to continue, my wife only realises the bad behavior and the awful things she writes about when her husband (me) has to shows her the reality, and explain the consequences to her if she continues.

Only then does the reality hit her like a ton of bricks...... " I didnt mean to write that" or "is that realy me". Yes it is her and she is for a fact behaving in an unhealthy way. Now there is no explaining it no excusses, no were to go but to admit she has a "problem".

I met a guy on this site that went for months watching his W unhealthy behavior and with no way to get proof or admission, and her always explaining her way out of it, no matter how rediculice it sounded. He finaly hired a cheap PI, It was quick and the proof was solid and only then did his wife make an admission that there was a "problem".

Granted you have enough to confront and you propably should, but I just have my experience to give as another perspective in confronting the affair.

I'm sure you can confront and it may be as effective as it can be with what you have, put IMO the slap (figuratively) in the face that hopefully shakes them from there fantasy is the ugly and discietful thing WW will have to *look at* when you confront. Something tangelable that actualy shows there bad behavior with out explaination or rationalization for what they are doing.

When I showed my WW the text, the pictures, the amount of text, the journel I kept with her coming and goings, and my sons report card, she just cried.

My confrontation plan worked great, she owns her part in an unhealthy marriage, and with that admission we both can now move on to the next step. Both is the key word here. Now that she (litterally) sees her unhealthy behavior she has made the choice to to change for the better.

08-07-2011, 02:20 PM	#77 (permalink)
the guy Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: CA Posts: 7,310	Re: Distressed All the more reason to show her the black and white proof of her bad behavior. I understand there maybe other issues (BPD) also at hand, but.......... In my experience I showed my WW the text and pictures that forced the issue. What I mean is something that was so undenialbe and with out any explaination that yes she was in an affair. I mean going to bed with my W and waking up in the middle of the night to find her gone and then waking up to find her sleeping next to me. Come on, she wakes up likes nothing wrong and when I confront her, its explained away with going to help out a friend. She found it unnessesary to wake me and tell me..ok fine why didn't she pick up her cell. Well as this happened several times, there always seemed to be a reason and even when she went out and never came home until the morning...again another reason. Each time asking if there was another man, and of course there was no one else. I believe it was to horrible for her to face. But when faced with the reality that she is actualy looking at the unhealthy behavior in front of her own eyes...the ughly text, the pictures confirming her unhealthy and dumb choices she is making under the cover of darkness. As this vampire continues to validate her behavior and convince her to continue, my wife only realises the bad behavior and the awful things she writes about when her husband (me) has to shows her the reality, and explain the consequences to her if she continues. Only then does the reality hit her like a ton of bricks...... " I didnt mean to write that" or "is that realy me". Yes it is her and she is for a fact behaving in an unhealthy way. Now there is no explaining it no excusses, no were to go but to admit she has a "problem". I met a guy on this site that went for months watching his W unhealthy behavior and with no way to get proof or admission, and her always explaining her way out of it, no matter how rediculice it sounded. He finaly hired a cheap PI, It was quick and the proof was solid and only then did his wife make an admission that there was a "problem". Granted you have enough to confront and you propably should, but I just have my experience to give as another perspective in confronting the affair. I'm sure you can confront and it may be as effective as it can be with what you have, put IMO the slap (figuratively) in the face that hopefully shakes them from there fantasy is the ugly and discietful thing WW will have to look at when you confront. Something tangelable that actualy shows there bad behavior with out explaination or rationalization for what they are doing. When I showed my WW the text, the pictures, the amount of text, the journel I kept with her coming and goings, and my sons report card, she just cried. My confrontation plan worked great, she owns her part in an unhealthy marriage, and with that admission we both can now move on to the next step. Both is the key word here. Now that she (litterally) sees her unhealthy behavior she has made the choice to to change for the better.