Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Wife had one night stand and got pregnant while I was deployed to Iraq.

HurtinginTN · 08-08-2011, 12:22 PM

First of all, I join the others in thanking you for your service. I am a veteran of Desert Storm myself.

I have 3 kids, ages 8, 9, and 11. There is much more to being a father than who donated the sperm. Some have suggested to me that I have paternity tests on my children given the recent affair. However, those kids are mine regardless. I agree with you and your wife that abortion is not the way to go. I don't know if you have other kids or not. As 8 years mentioned, he is not the biological father of his youngest daughter. However, she is HIS daughter.

You are in somewhat of an advantage being out of the country. The initial anger may have time to pass before you come home to a face to face. I would go talk to your chaplain. It is possible, and hopeful, she is telling you the truth. Look around on here and find the chart breaking down the actions of someone who is truly remorseful.

I've said for months I would have rather my wife had a one night stand than a long-term emotional affair. Trust your gut. If your gut says she is telling the truth, go with it. Not your heart that wants to save your marriage no matter what. My heart led me to believe lots of garbage. My gut was always right.

Be safe. You have had time to talk to her several times apparently. Given that, I assume you are not on the front lines. Take care of yourself and try to take it one day at a time.

08-08-2011, 12:22 PM	#29 (permalink)
HurtinginTN Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: TN Posts: 1,178	Re: Wife had one night stand and got pregnant while I was deployed to Iraq. First of all, I join the others in thanking you for your service. I am a veteran of Desert Storm myself. I have 3 kids, ages 8, 9, and 11. There is much more to being a father than who donated the sperm. Some have suggested to me that I have paternity tests on my children given the recent affair. However, those kids are mine regardless. I agree with you and your wife that abortion is not the way to go. I don't know if you have other kids or not. As 8 years mentioned, he is not the biological father of his youngest daughter. However, she is HIS daughter. You are in somewhat of an advantage being out of the country. The initial anger may have time to pass before you come home to a face to face. I would go talk to your chaplain. It is possible, and hopeful, she is telling you the truth. Look around on here and find the chart breaking down the actions of someone who is truly remorseful. I've said for months I would have rather my wife had a one night stand than a long-term emotional affair. Trust your gut. If your gut says she is telling the truth, go with it. Not your heart that wants to save your marriage no matter what. My heart led me to believe lots of garbage. My gut was always right. Be safe. You have had time to talk to her several times apparently. Given that, I assume you are not on the front lines. Take care of yourself and try to take it one day at a time.