She is merely acting like a woman will act when her insecurities are not calmed.
Your example is full of "Fitness tests".
First step, learn to recognize them, then learn to master them.
Fitness tests are not logical, not rational, only emotional, so these tings that make no sense to you logically, and only irrational and beyound reason, that is merely fitness tests.
No sense in arguing or debating them (such as your checking account paying discussion), only need is to recognize them and maintain your calm, confidence, and humor.
Want to address the "real" issue?
Your woman WANTS to see you demonstrate rock solid confidence, such as insisting to handle the checking account (or whatever is the situation), and confidence is standing up TO her, and standing up FOR your self.
Do this over time, and you will see her respect and trust for you increase, and you will see her controlling and insecurity behaviors decrease.
Respect and insecurity, in a relationship they are inversely related. Fitness Tests