| | First Post....How to deal with things
One year ago yesterday, my wife ask for a divorce. She had been treating me like a dog since June. She admitted to having talked to an attorney. One year ago today, after I literally stared at the ceiling all night, we talked and she backed down. One year ago tommorow, she came home from work, told me to either get a job making the kind of money she did or sit down, shut up, and use the credit card when I wanted too. At that point, I realized it was time to act. On the following Monday I called an attorney friend and got the name of an attorney that was better than her's. We met Tuesday, and he said she was having an affair. He told me to check some stuff and I did, and yes he was right. I had the feeling (my ex wife did the same thing) but figured she could never do it since her ex husband cheated on her.
I then proceeded to endure 5 weeks of HELL building a wonderful, airtight adultry case against her. The guy was over 20 years older than her (late 60's). She was served in late September of last year after they had their daily meeting.
She moved out of the house. She quit seeing him romantically the day she was served (but admits they talked and emailed for a short time after). She then procedded to try to reconcile with me. Over time, with both of us seeing counselors seperately and together, we are awaiting a court date to put a reconciliation agreement in place.
My question with all this in mind is how do you get over it...I know what counseling says...but those of you in real life, how did you move on? Three weeks ago Friday I ended up in line behind the SOB and his wife at a warehouse store. I had met him on two other occasions (both times I remained in my vehicle) but now I actually was able to gauge myself against him. I am taller than him, and I have no doubt far stronger than him, not to mention 27 years younger. I just am not the BS artist he is. His wife figured out who I was as did he (uniform shirt) I said nothing...though my blood pressure hit stroke level. (His wife found out in July when someone sent her a copy of the court filing where her husband was named) Of course I fantasized about how long I would have to "talk" before the police showed up.
While I know they were intimate, (oral only apparently) the guy is actually impotent...go figure. Also, his now wife was the result of an affair he had on his third wife 20 years ago. He is a serial cheater. In fact the now wife dyed her hair to look like my wife's hair.
Where is the peace? I see the guy every few weeks as we live 2 miles apart. In fact we end up facing one another at the same redlight. I love my wife and feel she loves me and that we can make it through this disaster. I just wonder when things get better (mentally for me)...when seeing the other guy doesn't elicit an anger response. When I don't think about what has happened. Any thoughts or insight would be greatly welcomed.