Quote:
Originally Posted by nada  :How can you ever trust a person again after what sham has been trough? This is F.cking up his self esteem. |
At the moment, I feel like my self-esteem is stronger than it's been in months. When she first came back from 10-wk trip and all went cold, I took it on myself, and since I was already feeling down about gaining weight, etc, it had to be remedied. Have now lost 50 lbs in 7 weeks, and in a lot of ways haven't felt better in, well, maybe even years. That said, I have plenty of moments right now where the hurt of all this kicks in...but actually hiring a lawyer, seeing a therapist, and now going to buy boxes/packing stuff and preparing to walk out and "show her who's she's dealing with" seems to be a boost right now, even though it is gonna be REALLY hard to pull the trigger, because I've never made such a decision before in my life. Deciding to marry was easy. This is a whole new decision.
Don't imagine I could ever trust her again. I want to, but I don't think it's possible. She would have to move mountains over the next few months while I'm gone, and I don't see that happening. I see her feeling bad at first, trying to contact me, then trying to contact me more angrily, then saying **** you and telling everyone around her what a lousy husband I was. We'll just have to see.
