| | Re: Should I trust her?
I got a FB friend request from a high school flame I hadn't heard from in 22 years, Not two weeks later I was neck deep in a very intense emotional affair. Old flames reconnecting on facebook is like playing with matches while pumping gas, it may not ignite but if it does it'll go big. As has been said, at a minimum she should respect the wishes of her spouse over a facebook friend and her refusal to delete him and the fact that she's been to his place twice are huge red flags. I don't see anyway they're not in an affair and from the sound of it likely a full blown EA/PA.
You cannot trust her word on this - she hasn't earned it. I'm afraid you're going to have to do some detective work and see what you get, but be prepared for bad news. If you find what I suspect don't confront her until you have lots of overwhelming evidence. If you confront her before you can prove your suspicions she will likely just take it all deeper underground and make it even harder on you. Sorry your in this spot, there's lots of advice and help here.