Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

much2lose · 01-28-2008, 05:16 PM

My husband and I have been married for almost 8 years. We have a 3 year old and 10 month old. Our life was great until shortly after our second baby was born. We were both so overwhelmed with the two kids and lost sight of each other. I guess I thought this was normal and our happy life would return once we got over the sleepless nights and constant neediness that comes with a new baby.
My husband apparently felt different. In August 07 he told me that he felt I didn't even care if he was here or not and he was really hurt by my neglect. I bought some books, we talked through it and everything was better - or so I thought. Then in December he brought it up again. This time, he said he was no longer angry just completely indifferent to me and didn't love me anymore. It was the "I love you, I'm just not in love with you" speech. He said he'd try counseling after the holidays. In the meantime, I read books, did some searching online and came up with some ideas for us to try. Again, life got a little better. He told me he loved me and wouldn't leave me or the kids and things were good. The counseling kind of went out the window here.
Unfortunately, we had the conversation again yesterday. This time, I have made appointments with two different counselors (hopefully, we'll click with one) and we're going in next week.
The problem is that although he says he'll go, he doesn't believe it will work. I am so afraid that if he goes into it with that idea, it won't work. We have SO much to lose. I really still believe that our relationship can be good again if we're both committed to working at it. I love him so much and so do my kids!!! How do I convince him to be more open-minded and give us the real chance we deserve?

01-28-2008, 05:16 PM	#1 (permalink)
much2lose Registered User Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 1	He says he's not in love anymore My husband and I have been married for almost 8 years. We have a 3 year old and 10 month old. Our life was great until shortly after our second baby was born. We were both so overwhelmed with the two kids and lost sight of each other. I guess I thought this was normal and our happy life would return once we got over the sleepless nights and constant neediness that comes with a new baby. My husband apparently felt different. In August 07 he told me that he felt I didn't even care if he was here or not and he was really hurt by my neglect. I bought some books, we talked through it and everything was better - or so I thought. Then in December he brought it up again. This time, he said he was no longer angry just completely indifferent to me and didn't love me anymore. It was the "I love you, I'm just not in love with you" speech. He said he'd try counseling after the holidays. In the meantime, I read books, did some searching online and came up with some ideas for us to try. Again, life got a little better. He told me he loved me and wouldn't leave me or the kids and things were good. The counseling kind of went out the window here. Unfortunately, we had the conversation again yesterday. This time, I have made appointments with two different counselors (hopefully, we'll click with one) and we're going in next week. The problem is that although he says he'll go, he doesn't believe it will work. I am so afraid that if he goes into it with that idea, it won't work. We have SO much to lose. I really still believe that our relationship can be good again if we're both committed to working at it. I love him so much and so do my kids!!! How do I convince him to be more open-minded and give us the real chance we deserve?