| | Re: Wife depressed after her affair
Broken I echo the what the previous posters have said. You need to get tough and resolute with you wife. You are not helping yourself, your wife or your marriage by wanting to move ahead quickly and skip steps. If you do not make it clear that you are willing to let her go if she continues the A or has another, then plan on more affairs in the future.
The way you handle this will decide the future of your relationship and you happiness in the future. It's natural to want to get past the pain quickly but if you don't deal with this now you will suffer silently for years. Better to feel it all now.
From the little that I have read, you seem to be suffering from nice man syndrome. You said nothing in your post about how you are feeling. You did not bring another into the marriage so why are you comforting her? She should be comforting you! You will not be able to manage emotionally with your present state of mind. She needs to do the heavy lifting now, she needs to take of you, she needs to atone. She is hiding behind the woe is me so that she can carry on the affair.
Given that cheaters lie lie lie, I doubt that she did not have sex with him. You have to do things completely different. Stop letting her make a fool of you while she enjoys the attentions of this OM and your ministrations. She is getting her needs met in spades while you are left in the cold.
I am more worried about you. She is fine but you are not and will not be until you tell her to cut the s**t, tell the truth and get to work or she is out and see if the OM will meet any of her needs.
What is your plan then. You need to arrange MC and IC.
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