Originally Posted by WillS
I've searched around the forums for a while now and I'm very thankful for the information on this site. My question regards the feeling of guilt when a person has been cheated on. My wife had what she admits was an emotional affair, though I suspect it may have been physical. I've dealt with a lot of strong emotions since I found out. But the past few days I have had strong feelings of guilt. I feel guilty that years ago I was attracted to a colleague, that I've looked at other women, that I have looked at women online. I feel almost like this was deserved because of what I had done to her, like I've been disloyal myself. She has told me she thinks that I'm as disloyal as she is. Is this feeling of guilt normal or not? Has anyone experienced this or know anything about it? I feel more guilty now than angry or sad.
Ummmm..no,no,no.no......dude, there's nothing wrong with looking at the menu, just as long as you don't order from it! There's nothing wrong with admiring the female form. Just look and don't touch..Your wife ordered from the menu. They flirted, had intimate conversation. Someone once told me a really good definition of cheating. If you say or do anything that you wouldn't do in the presence of your spouse, then it's cheating.
She cheated....you didn't.