| | Re: Wife has fallen for a fantasy
She has no ability to support herself and nowhere to go. I can't just kick her out in the street and make her homeless. I don't think that would knock her out of the delusion but would probably make her more dependent on it seeing as she would have nothing else.
We have talked extensively about the kids and the separate bedrooms and no intimacy. We can't fix that right now and according to her never will. The best thing I can do right now is to make sure they still have two loving parents devoted to their needs to be here for them. They have that as long as me and her can maintain a level of civility which is dependent on me becoming very careful about addressing the delusion as a delusion. Me asking or telling her to get help validates for her that I do not believe and pushes me into the enemy camp. I'm in the friendly camp right now. I will keep pushing her to get help but I have to stay within the friendly side while doing it or else the anger and resentment will kick up and nothing I say will be heard at all. Right now she may not accept what I say but she listens and thinks about it and it comes out later in the directions he provides her. I have to do this right, I have to be gentle, I have to develop her trust in me in order to get anywhere toward her seeking help. I've been doing extensive research on dealing with delusional disorders and feel I am going about this the right way. Being direct and firm doesn't work on people suffering from it. It just drives them further away from help.