Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - To cheating women: What made you come back to reconciliation?

Jellybeans · 09-07-2011, 01:14 PM

Houston--there is no "method" that makes someone want to reconcile a relationship or not. Either they want to, or they don't.

I can assure you that crying/begging/pleading will have the opposite effect of what you want. Every time.

In my situation, I had an affair, I left though it was not because of or for the A. I barely spoke to OM after I separated from my husband. My ex was very much emotionally distant from me and emotionally abusive as well at times. I'd been asking him to go to MC with me forever and he would not bite. He refused to hear me out, to listen to me about what I felt were Major Problems, blanking me sometimes for days/weeks at a time. I would literally cry myself to sleep at night because of how sad and alone I felt in my marriage. I did want to reconcile, fix things. He wanted me to sign something for him or else he said he'd file divorce. I signed and he had still filed. That to me, said it all. Now, while he wantd a D, he also wanted to "stay together" post-divorce, as a couple, just not married. I was not ok with that. It just showed me, again, that I wasn't a priority for him and I was always going to be in our relationship by myself. A very lonely way to live.

09-07-2011, 01:14 PM	#2 (permalink)
Jellybeans Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 11,721	Re: To cheating women: What made you come back to reconciliation? Houston--there is no "method" that makes someone want to reconcile a relationship or not. Either they want to, or they don't. I can assure you that crying/begging/pleading will have the opposite effect of what you want. Every time. In my situation, I had an affair, I left though it was not because of or for the A. I barely spoke to OM after I separated from my husband. My ex was very much emotionally distant from me and emotionally abusive as well at times. I'd been asking him to go to MC with me forever and he would not bite. He refused to hear me out, to listen to me about what I felt were Major Problems, blanking me sometimes for days/weeks at a time. I would literally cry myself to sleep at night because of how sad and alone I felt in my marriage. I did want to reconcile, fix things. He wanted me to sign something for him or else he said he'd file divorce. I signed and he had still filed. That to me, said it all. Now, while he wantd a D, he also wanted to "stay together" post-divorce, as a couple, just not married. I was not ok with that. It just showed me, again, that I wasn't a priority for him and I was always going to be in our relationship by myself. A very lonely way to live. Last edited by Jellybeans; 09-07-2011 at 01:19 PM.