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post #7 of (permalink) Old 09-07-2011, 03:30 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 293
Re: To cheating women: What made you come back to reconciliation?

Originally Posted by HurtinginTN View Post
Well, Forsaken, I have a doctorate in being a doormat. I don't know what I would do if I was in your shoes. It's like you take the buildup over time. Each lie adds to the burden on your back. At some point, that extra lie breaks the camel's back. Once it is broken, does taking away all of the weight heal the back? I don't know. But, if you do decide to try to reconcile, I would not call that being a doormat. It takes one to know one, as they say. I was a doormat in not ending things months ago when the affair just continued. Now that your wife seems genuinely remorseful, the doormat label would not fit. IMHO
I guess I would still feel like a doormat because these EAs aren't the first, there have been others before, this was just the worst of them all and this time it was with 3 OM instead of just one. This time there was a lot more lies and deception and as far as I know a lot more communication though I can't prove that because I have absolutely no clue how much she has talked to any other guys, she was on her own cell phone plan before Feb 2010.

I feel that if I decide to continue on with my M and R, I will only be setting myself up for failure because this has happened so much that I don't feel it will ever truely stop. I have this overwhelming feeling that I would be back on here again in about 2 years from now with another issue, and at that point I'd really have no one to blame but myself.

At some point you have to stand up for yourself and let people know that you are serious and that you aren't going to take it anymore. I feel like I've gone beyond that point. I really cannot go through this ever again, I'm a complete wreck, I'm destroyed. I've allowed this behaviour to go on for to long with nothing but empty threats.

You are right, my W does seem genuinely remorseful, unfortunately this isn't the first time she has seemed to be genuinely remorseful... It sucks that it took 10 months of lies and deceit and then me saying I want a D for her to become genuinely remorseful. I'll tell ya what, she didn't seem genuinely remorseful 3 1/2 weeks ago when she looked me in the eyes and lied to me again about these EAs..
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