Originally Posted by ConfusedinColumbus
Thanks for replies...
For the most part the marriage is good (usual ups and downs, still intimate, two kids, good careers, etc). Now however, trust is in short supply (whether me wondering about her fidelity or her thinking about me snooping around).
We have pretty much brushed in under the rug and my wife now treats it as a joke. He has been made aware of my knowledge of the communication and sent me an email apologizing, but similar to my wife he rationalizes it and said it was just friendly chat. I have not returned this email.
This is no fun. I have no idea what transpires at work and no idea as to the subject matter in the texts.
Whatever you do, don't brush it under the rug and don't ignore it. What your wife is doing is wrong. In my situation, it was my husband who was talking, talking, talking (and texting and emailing) a colleague who was "just a friend." Lord, I get so sick of that term--it is definitely a cover or a way to rationalize something much more serious. If I had followed my instincts about what I found in the phone records, my husband would have had to come clean long before he did.
Please follow your instincts here and don't ignore what is going on. It will only get worse. There is no reason for anyone (unless you're a teenage girl with nothing else to do) to send 700 texts to one person unless they are somehow involved.
Your wife's joking behavior and attitude about the whole thing shows a lack of respect for your feelings. Take it from someone who has been through the same thing. I am still recovering and it has been 3 months since my husband confessed his inappropriate friendship. My husband is genuinely remorseful for his actions-all the calls, texts, etc. However, it doesn't take away the pain that his behavior caused. Nip it in the bud before it is too late!