Originally Posted by Bigrascal
You are exactly right. I got a long diatribe today via email that took me a aback. She said:
1. she doesn't need me;
2. I'm selfish;
3. Left her in a house by herself with no furniture;
4. I'm a narcissist;
5. I have no money;
6. I just care about wearing suits, going to europe and having a fancy office, but that's not success. Success is managing your money and making investments;
There's a lot more, but that's the gist of it. I was tempted to call or respond or go to the house, but I'm not thinking that's a good idea.
I’m pretty certain your wife thinks she’s King D*ck in your marriage because she has the house and you don’t. And because of that she looks down on you from her “lofty” position. I also think that while that situation remains she will use the fact that the house is hers in an attempt to control you by threatening you with “eviction”. Kind of “Do as I say or I will evict you”. Personally I think that a really bad position for any man to put himself in and should you decide to reconcile you will need to do it such that your home is jointly owned or rented by both of you.
One of the things about the 180 is that it lets your wife be “free” of the “normal dynamics” between the two of you. In essence, you just passively sit back and see what happens, what transpires. In your case it’s happening very quickly. You are now beginning to understand what is in your wife’s mind. There is probably more to come.
Your wife is seriously poking you and she’s wanting a response. If she didn’t want a response you wouldn’t have got the email. It may be best not to respond or to just respond with something like “Ok” by way of acknowledging that you’ve read her email.
Maybe it’s best to put a time limit on your 180. Say something like 3 months which in the scheme of a lifetime is very little. And at the end of that 3 months you’ll have learnt quite a bit just by observing what your wife does and you can then take a decision on what to do for the best for you.