Don't even know where to start, but here I go.
Me and my wife met on Eharmony, we both had a reasons to be searching for people on an online dating sites. We both run successful businesses and we were able to connect through Eharmony. We actually have a crap load in common.
We got married in 2007 and everything was picture perfect. I sold my house and moved in with her at her house. We had our ups and downs, a lot of downs. One of the major problems in our relationship was her child that was 11 and now he is 17. We had major parenting conflicts and have gotten into may fights because of this. For instance I like people to earn something rather than it just being handed to you. Like a car, cell phone, she even gives him her CC to go shopping with and he'll drop $900 in clothes. Our finances are separate and she pays her own CC payments, so some of you out there are saying, "Dude what's your problem, your lucky she pays her own CC". My response is he is over indulged and talks about dropping out of school, he just got fired from his job for 3 no call no shows. ect. No drive to earn anything and over indulging a child is dangerous behavior. Unless you want to live with your step child when hes 30 years old. This is just one of out tension points.
Two years ago her dad past away, and he was only 59. Complications with heart surgery. He was in ICU for 8 months and that was emotionally draining and she hasn't been the same since. She tells me she's over it as best as she can be, but I know she's not. Her dad was definitely #1 in her life. He ran the business that she took over after the fact. She tells me I wasn't there for her during that hard time in her life and there is no talking her out of her feelings. She discounts the 100's of hours I spent at the hospital, because I wasn't there as much as she needed me apparently. The ICU only allowed 2 people to go in to see him at a time and it was always her mom and her in there, I spent countless hours in a waiting room.
In the downturn of the economy her business has been suffering and I know that is a huge amount of added stress on her. Some weeks she has a hard time meeting payroll.
We have had our fights where she has said "I want a divorce" in the past, and those words cut deep. We have separated before in the past, she says 'I left her" 3 times and really she forgets that she told me to leave.
Long story short, 2 days ago she said she needed to talk to me. When ever she says that I know there is a serious problem. She told me that she has noticed that I have been trying really hard for our relationship for the past 3 month, but she said she has already checked out. She has never said those words to me before, and then the conversation moved to who keeps the house. So I knew she was serious. She told me she had talked to her mom and she could move in with her mom or with her brother. Or I could move in with my brother, and that might be easier. In all practical reasons moving in with my brother would make more since, since I got rid of everything to before we got married to be with her.
We do have serious communication issues, she is the type of person that has to be right on everything and sometimes it's embarrassing, especially when she doesn't know what she's talking about. She was arguing with some furniture movers 5 days ago that our bed was not a California King, and they were installing the bed in our bedroom, and they set the bed to a regular king, and the bed didn't fit. Then she was arguing with the professional furniture movers that she has never bought one before and they didn't know what to say. They just set the bed to a California King size and guess what???? The bed fits! The only reason I'm telling you something so petty is that is I have a problem with our relationship and need to talk to her I have to put kid gloves on, even if I know I'm right.
Maybe she's just so unhappy that anything just pisses her off.
She told me 2 days ago that for the rest of my life I would settle for a "Mediocre" Marriage and she can't. So she's not saying the marriage is bad just mediocre. I see no signs of cheating or anything like that, but how do women just turn off a switch like that? Is it that her business is failing, her dad died, her son is driving her up a wall, and her marriage isn't what she wants, and I'm the only thing she can throw away?
I have taken my wife all over the world, Twice! Mediocre? For example, Rome 2 times, Venice, Switzerland, Monte Carlo, Canada skiing 2 times, France, Costa Rica 2 times, Cozumel 3 times, Cancun 4 times, and pretty much every island in the Caribbean. I guess those places are pretty "mediocre"
I told her that if she wanted to leave then I would appreciate if she was the one who moved out, since it was her idea to separate, and it would be better for me if she did it sooner than later. It is really hard to try to get over someone if they are in your same living environment. We don't have kids. She was a little offended that I just wouldn't go to my brothers, which I may anyway.
I hope you guys read this, I know it's hard to put 5-7 years on one post. I love her, don't want it to end. But if the grass is greener maybe she needs to find out. She if incredibly good looking so she won't have a hard time finding anyone to find out. I'm not ugly either. (I Think)
Please if you can give me advise, any advise, something. If you think my story sucks let me know that too! I don't know what to do.
Me and my wife met on Eharmony, we both had a reasons to be searching for people on an online dating sites. We both run successful businesses and we were able to connect through Eharmony. We actually have a crap load in common.
We got married in 2007 and everything was picture perfect. I sold my house and moved in with her at her house. We had our ups and downs, a lot of downs. One of the major problems in our relationship was her child that was 11 and now he is 17. We had major parenting conflicts and have gotten into may fights because of this. For instance I like people to earn something rather than it just being handed to you. Like a car, cell phone, she even gives him her CC to go shopping with and he'll drop $900 in clothes. Our finances are separate and she pays her own CC payments, so some of you out there are saying, "Dude what's your problem, your lucky she pays her own CC". My response is he is over indulged and talks about dropping out of school, he just got fired from his job for 3 no call no shows. ect. No drive to earn anything and over indulging a child is dangerous behavior. Unless you want to live with your step child when hes 30 years old. This is just one of out tension points.
Two years ago her dad past away, and he was only 59. Complications with heart surgery. He was in ICU for 8 months and that was emotionally draining and she hasn't been the same since. She tells me she's over it as best as she can be, but I know she's not. Her dad was definitely #1 in her life. He ran the business that she took over after the fact. She tells me I wasn't there for her during that hard time in her life and there is no talking her out of her feelings. She discounts the 100's of hours I spent at the hospital, because I wasn't there as much as she needed me apparently. The ICU only allowed 2 people to go in to see him at a time and it was always her mom and her in there, I spent countless hours in a waiting room.
In the downturn of the economy her business has been suffering and I know that is a huge amount of added stress on her. Some weeks she has a hard time meeting payroll.
We have had our fights where she has said "I want a divorce" in the past, and those words cut deep. We have separated before in the past, she says 'I left her" 3 times and really she forgets that she told me to leave.
Long story short, 2 days ago she said she needed to talk to me. When ever she says that I know there is a serious problem. She told me that she has noticed that I have been trying really hard for our relationship for the past 3 month, but she said she has already checked out. She has never said those words to me before, and then the conversation moved to who keeps the house. So I knew she was serious. She told me she had talked to her mom and she could move in with her mom or with her brother. Or I could move in with my brother, and that might be easier. In all practical reasons moving in with my brother would make more since, since I got rid of everything to before we got married to be with her.
We do have serious communication issues, she is the type of person that has to be right on everything and sometimes it's embarrassing, especially when she doesn't know what she's talking about. She was arguing with some furniture movers 5 days ago that our bed was not a California King, and they were installing the bed in our bedroom, and they set the bed to a regular king, and the bed didn't fit. Then she was arguing with the professional furniture movers that she has never bought one before and they didn't know what to say. They just set the bed to a California King size and guess what???? The bed fits! The only reason I'm telling you something so petty is that is I have a problem with our relationship and need to talk to her I have to put kid gloves on, even if I know I'm right.
Maybe she's just so unhappy that anything just pisses her off.
She told me 2 days ago that for the rest of my life I would settle for a "Mediocre" Marriage and she can't. So she's not saying the marriage is bad just mediocre. I see no signs of cheating or anything like that, but how do women just turn off a switch like that? Is it that her business is failing, her dad died, her son is driving her up a wall, and her marriage isn't what she wants, and I'm the only thing she can throw away?
I have taken my wife all over the world, Twice! Mediocre? For example, Rome 2 times, Venice, Switzerland, Monte Carlo, Canada skiing 2 times, France, Costa Rica 2 times, Cozumel 3 times, Cancun 4 times, and pretty much every island in the Caribbean. I guess those places are pretty "mediocre"
I told her that if she wanted to leave then I would appreciate if she was the one who moved out, since it was her idea to separate, and it would be better for me if she did it sooner than later. It is really hard to try to get over someone if they are in your same living environment. We don't have kids. She was a little offended that I just wouldn't go to my brothers, which I may anyway.
I hope you guys read this, I know it's hard to put 5-7 years on one post. I love her, don't want it to end. But if the grass is greener maybe she needs to find out. She if incredibly good looking so she won't have a hard time finding anyone to find out. I'm not ugly either. (I Think)
Please if you can give me advise, any advise, something. If you think my story sucks let me know that too! I don't know what to do.