Jellybeans

I don't necessarily think Mary's friend is jealous of her marriage. It sounds like she is hurt Mary cut the friendship off after willfully particpating in the threesome with GF and the OM and also sleeping with the OM behind saif friend's back. Now I'm not excusing the GF or saying she is a good person--but I don't think painting her as the evil mean psycho is the thing to do here. She is obviously hurt and maybe she is lashing out this way becaus she realizes how badly this whole ordeal went down/what the consequences of this are and maybe she is p!ssed off she found out Mary slept with her guy behind her back and does not know how to deal with it so she's spewing.

I would avoid her for now. She is obviously very hurt and acting out. If she asks you any questions about what happend with OM behind her back, definitely answer her. She deserves to know the truth, just as your husband does. There is a lot of betrayal here.

I am curious though-why do she (the GF) and her friends say "it's wrong of you to blame" her for cheating. Why are they saying that? How did you word things to them?? Where in your letter to them did you post about blaming them or they are just pulling that out of thin air??? How did you tell the GF you slept with her boyf behind her back? What words did you use? I didn't see either of those things in the part of the letter you posted here. Something is off here...

You are going to feel guilty a lot. Which is good. Cause if you didn't, then you may not have a conscious. Be glad your hub is giving you an opportunity to work through this. You need to do whatever he asks of you. If you think counselling is helpful to you, do it.

Like PB said--find out the why and mkae sure it never happens again. Or you will find yourself in this position again and destroy every relationship you have in your life.