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Old 09-08-2011, 11:37 AM   #146 (permalink)
AFEH
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 4,778
Default Re: Is It Really That Bad?

Quote:
Originally Posted by turnera View Post
Ok, you got your one get out of jail free card this time. But if you break down and call, meet, eat, and SLEEP with her again, you can expect a hailstorm of yelling from us.

Do you understand me?
Maybe that’s the way to go if he wants a divorce, but the guys not talking divorce. Meantime he has a bit of a task on his hands and that’s to get to really understand his wife and what it is that drives and motivates her. He can only do that by engaging with her.

But he can engage with her with his “new eyes” and on his own terms. In essence he has got control of himself back. Back where it belongs with himself. That in and of itself is one very very big change and in such a short space of time. He has already learnt the benefit of keeping his mouth shut (much better done with a small smile on the face to disguise any emotions being felt). And again that in and of itself is a very big lesson learned. So that’s two very big lifetime lessons learned in just about as few days.

Now it’s best just to sit back for a bit and let the lessons sink in for a while. And then sometime in the future take the initiative and set up another get together. And then in that get together apply the two lessons learned. Retain control (by doing nothing, by not responding) and just observe his wife’s behaviour. I can assure you in that way he will learn many things about his wife that he has absolutely no idea of.
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