| | Re: separate beds, etc.
I think you need to insist she spend time alone with you to talk.
Talk and tell her you are miserable with the state of things and that the 10 year old needs to transition to another room, you need to sleep with wife and you will work with her on fixing things so that you can have a wonderful romantic, marriage.
If she says no or makes excuses, tell her you are serious about this. That you will brainstom with her on changing things.
If she still has problems, tell her you need things to change. Things will change. Preferably together for better.
Then, well, hopefully she will understand this is serious and the family needs to change.