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Originally Posted by DazednConfused2011  Thats exactly what happens. I'm not in the mood for a while and so I kind of say "no" but then one day he says that i -always- say no. But I know 100% that I don't ALWAYS say no. Then we definately wouldn't be having sex like everyday. Seriously, we have sex 5 out of 7 days. and thats if I -really- say no once or twice. In the morning his hand is a-wandering looking for some, i gotta give him a bj for his "naptime" (if he decides he's taking a nap that day) and then again at night he's expecting something. I really don't know what I'm supposed to be doing here..I don't think I just want to give it to him whenever he wants it even if I don't.
Mainly: I want him to be happy. But...I also want to be happy too. |
While I agree that it's wonderful your H craves you and wants to be connected with you this way constantly (I'm cheering for you in this respect!), some of the things you have written here sounds as though your sexual needs aren't necessarily being considered. I will happily stand corrected if this isn't the case.
I think it's possible that his fear of your future self turning him down, could be warranted if he continues this behavior in the long term. I'd personally be turned-off by someone that I felt could become stroppy if I said no once in a while and by your post I am wondering if he's unintentionally becoming a selfish lover? Or if he worried about you cheating before (even though you haven't) that his insecurity also drives this desire to be as close as possible with you, along with his hormones and affection towards you. Has another woman cheated on him in the past?
Do you have loving touch and sensuality between you as well as sex? Based on other posts I've read here (not from my own experience), it sounds almost predictable that after a few years of this behavior and his approach, that you risk eventually becoming resentful of being woken at 3am and then having to tread on eggshells about occasionally saying no and as a result, no longer want to be sexual with him. I'm not sure what to suggest, maybe the men can advice here. You certainly want to keep encouraging his desire for you and enjoying sex together but I'm wondering if you can somehow show him a different way of being with you that includes slowing things down slightly to show him how you can worship each others bodies in a way that's more than giving him a hj before nap-time and being woken and expected to be "on". In the long run, this may help keep you interested in sex and remind him how wonderful it is for him to see you in that ecstatic state and feeling satisfied. For the record, I do think a quickie and one-sided pleasure is fine but by what you have written this sounds like it's becoming more the norm rather than both of you feeling pleasured. Get this sorted now..... then if your 30's hormones hit you the way they hit me, chances are you'll be in for an even more FANTASTIC time together
Best wishes!
