suzyq

Hi,
I'm new to this board and need to sound off. Problem, we have been married for almost 23 years. First 17 great, then slowly it has declined. My husband would drink then make comments like "I wish I wouldn't have gotton married when I did", I question him and he said he didn't say that or he was too drunk to remember. These comments have been going on for the past 6 years, with each vacation, more comments coming. More examples, I sure would like to bang her, wish I was single, Don't you think you need to lose a little, I married too soon, etc... you get my drift.
Well, about a month ago, I was on another forum and saw some postings that had a familiar ring to them, I found the author of all the postings. It was my husband ranting....He made comments like, "I'm stuck in this h*ll hole of a marriage", I married a c*nt of a b*tch, It would cost too much to get out of this sham of a marriage. I found 70 postings about me.
I brought this up to him and asked if he wanted a divorce? He said no, I love you, I just needed to vent, I didn't mean any of that.
I'm having a hard time believing that he didn't mean anything by his words. One or two things maybe, but 70 postings and the last 6 years of little things.
We have two boys, 16 & 18, so it's not like there are little kids involved. One will be going off to college in the fall.
I just do my own thing around the house all day with the boys, then we are all pins and needlse when he gets home, not knowing what will come out of his mouth next. He tries to blame everything on the boys and myself.
Well, I keep suggesting our marriage needs help, if it is to last and he ignores me, like he does for everthing.