Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - 1st attempt at help
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Old 09-19-2011, 08:47 AM   #1 (permalink)
gembob20
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 2
Default 1st attempt at help

Hi all,

I am new to this and haven't discussed this with anyone.

I have been married to my husband (31) for 2.5 years now and we have been together for 8 years. Since we got married our relationship has been different. We are the best of friends and have no arguements, as a couple everyone loves us. We are very affectionate in a cuddly way all of the time. My husband is a fantastic husband who supports me in every way but about a year after we were married our sex life deteriorated significantly. It wasn't really that he was rejecting me but more that he just wasn't initiating sex anymore. At first I was upset, then angry, then as time went by we would have discussions about how we were fine with it and everyone is just like us. Soon I started to feel unattractive and unhappy in the relationship. I spoke to him about this and he advised it isn't something he does on purpose and he has always had a low sex drive and he doesn't think it is a problem to not have as much sex. There have been occasions were we have gone on holiday and tried to get the spark back but things return to normal once we come home. Another issue is that because I feel rejected by him I think I stopped letting myself feel for him which has now ended up with me feeing like I don't fancy him anymore and if on the very rare occasion that we do attempt sex I feel uncomfortable with his touch and can not stop thinking that he doesn't want to be there. It is so difficult as everything else in the relationship is perfect and some days I can convince myself that we are happy.
The reason I am now seeking help is that we are at the stage where the next step would be having a baby. We have used all sorts of tests to work out when I am ovulating so that it works out that we have sex only on that day. I am worried that if I have a child that baby will be my world and I can see that I would go on living a fairly comfortable life with more of an excellent housemate/best friend than a husband but part of me is questioning if I should get out now as I think I deserve more. I have started to fantasise about past relationships just to make myself feel like I was once wanted. Any advice would be much appreciated - I haven't told any friends or family as I a embarrassed that the fact my husband doesn't want me when everyone else thinks we are the perfect couple.
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