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Old 09-21-2011, 05:51 AM   #23 (permalink)
metta
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 53
Default Re: Interfaith marriage: christian fundamentalist spouse

Wow! A lot of responses! Thank you so much for that!

Thanks a lot RandomDude and SimplyAmorous for sharing your stories, this gives me some hope and lifts my heart a bit!

Quote:
Originally Posted by greenpearl
Going to the meetings and studying the Bible is to help us have a better life, if what she is doing is disturbing your family's peace, is this really what she wants? She has to know that.

You give her the respect and freedom for having her belief, she is supposed to do the same. You two started your marriage life with different believes. She changed, you didn't change. Why is she creating problems for your family and marriage?
That's quite true indeed... I suppose up to now I subconsciously thought I just had to accept it. But it's true she brought this radicalised religion at home and it permeated almost everything in our household. Before we used to chat about politics and economics. I can't do that anymore: within 30 seconds, she will start saying these are the end of times, all that has been predicted in the bible, etc.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RandomDude
She replied very simply "If a Christian is afraid to question, their faith is weak"
That's a good point actually. Because I noted that she tends to react angrily and violently when anyone has some misplaced talks. The most amazing is that she thinks she is free from that very specific behaviour, she thinks that if someone speaks against Christianity or state challenging questions or ideas, this does not affect her. Yet I can see clear it does big time by the way she reacts. That's quite a worrying inconsistency...
Also, tt might be a double-edged sword... Fundamentalists have ready-made answers to everything that threaten them: it's from Satan...

Thanks a lot for sharing your story. There is also a big problem to my wife, and that's buddhism does not have a god. She told a number of times how wrong that is not to worship your creator, etc.
But I think it's a red herring. If I was jew or muslim, she would have just the same level of problem because I wouldn't believe in jesus. Even so, if I was catholic, she would say that I have evil practices by revering the saints, etc. Well, it's just my thinking here! (but she did disparage the catholics quite a few times!)

I also forgot to mention before that she is apparently OK with the fact that some missionaries actively try to break local cultures and religions, because they do not worship the true god. I have to admit that I find this plainly fascist. This is one of the few things I have some real difficulties with.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SimplyAmorous
Accually Greenpearl , I agree with you , any religion worth it's salt with show LOVE and tolerance of others, most especially if they are living the Golden Rule. BUT some will USE scriptures like this to show they are right in acting the way they do , even in hurting the family .....

Luke 14:26 .... "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters--yes, even his own life--he cannot be my disciple" If you google any commentary on this, it will tell you Jesus did not really mean HATE but the meaning is.... in order to be a disciple of Christ, you must love him more than any other being, Your beliefs come 1st, family is 2nd, lessor.
That's exactly that. Very shortly after being born-again, she told me that god will always come first, and I will come second. I had absolutely no problem with that at that time, because I thought religion would help become a better person.

I am so happy to be a buddhist! I follow the early school, with the canonical scriptures reporting the teachings of the buddha (we don't view these scriptures as holy, sacred or perfect in any way). These scriptures are about 11 times the size of the bible, and yet nowhere you will find a need to interpret texts in such a way, and its content is consistent throughout, in the letter and in the spirit. The quote of the bible you mentioned, taken literally, can indeed lead to a lot of harm.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SimplyAmorous
she will be praying to convert you
You must have installed a webcam in our house! That's exactly what is happening indeed! Personally, I think she should pray to accept me as I am, that would be true love instead of trying to change others.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RandomDude
Two lessons learnt from the above 2 cases: The first, don't withdraw your support for her, if you love her, keep at it. Pull through with her. The second, be loving, compassionate, and supportive, but still be firm, don't compromise your beliefs and don't let her walk over you.
These are good pieces of wisdom! I'll try to follow that indeed!

Quote:
Originally Posted by greenpearl
Metta's wife right now is being blinded by the association she has in her church. She wants to fit in, so she is doing what she thinks others might be happy about. She wants to make people in her church happy.
I am not sure if this really applies to my wife. She even claims that she is not following a religion! As if claiming it makes it true.
There is one thing that is sure, she is now very close-minded. She even claimed just that when there was this question of bringing my daughter to the buddhist service: she told me that we buddhists are open, but christians are closed...
More exactly, I feel she selects the information that enter into her brain and subconsciously discards everything else.

Thank you so much everyone for all your answers. It's a very good thing I started this discussion, it helps me tremendously to get some perspective and understanding.

Best regards
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