Originally Posted by DSSM9500
At this point I really see what this fog is all about. the way she has shifted blame, rewritten history, magnified all the problems in our marriage, and justified her EA. She is not in a place to think rationally right now, so I don't think this is even a time to work on R. My guess is that the fog is what got us fired from R. I'm sure the marriage counselor recognized this and knew that as long as she was in the fog, there was nothing he could do.
This is why its said over and over again, not only in this forum, but other infidelity support sites as well, that as long as the wayward spouse is still in the affair, MC is useless. MC is only useful when the affair is over, and both partners are ready to commit to the marriage 100% and to repair the damage to the marriage and make it work.