| | Re: I need therapy!! My parents marriage was not what I thought it was - Your take on
Thanks morituri. Their marriage has really become an enigma to me. On one hand they did provide a great home to grow up in and have been married almost 45 years. Other than my father's one serious indiscretion they have really stuck by their vows, at least the better or worse or part. On the other hand they just don't seem to particularly enjoy or respect each other, which seems an awful way to spend one's life. I actually asked my father at one point why he didn't just get a divorce if he was unhappy. He said something to the effect of it's just not worth it/it's too late. Part of me wonders if that's just what marriage is after 45 years. I've seen several couples that seem to suffer similar issues, but I've seen others that don't. Growing up with them did lead to a tendency for me to treat my wife more like a child than my equal, which she let me get away with. It was one of the things that contributed to my susceptibility to an affair. Post D Day I figured out I didn't want to be married to someone subservient but rather to an equal, and have changed the way I treat my wife; along with some other changes it has done wonders for our marriage. Now I'm just trying to identify the dysfunctional parts of their relationship and take steps to either correct or avoid the same issues in my own marriage. Thanks for reading.
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