Welcome to the TAM forum, Gal. One possibility is that your H suffers from strong traits of BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). I say "possibility" because, although the inability to trust is a hallmark of such traits, you mention nothing of the other 8 BPD traits. I nonetheless believe it may be worth your while to read my description of those traits in Berilo's thread. My posts there start at Distressed
. Another description is available in my posts on Blacksmith's thread at Complicated Marriage Dynamic
If the traits described in those discussions ring a bell, Gal, I would be glad to discuss them with you. Like you, I married a very jealous person. I ended up divorcing her after 15 years because of her strong BPD traits. BPDers have a great fear of abandonment because they are unable to trust their partners. My advice is to read a little about such traits to see if they sound familiar. In any event, it would be prudent to visit a clinical psychologist -- for at least a session or two on your own -- to get a professional opinion as to what you are dealing with. Take care, Gal.