| | Re: Need advice. My wife of 12 years cheated on me and now I hate myself.
Not only did she carry on for a year and a half, she bragged about it. You should seriously the motivations for wanting to reconcile with her. Sounds consistent with your self-loathing. Sounds like someone who actually believes that he married out of his league. Understanding is the key to beginning the process of recovering. If she believes this also, then you have to consider that these feelings of entitlement might not go away just because she got caught and wants the security of her marriage.
There are many women out there who would love and cherish a guy like you. I'd encourage you to tell her how it makes you feel. If she doesn't go through a tremendous amount of effort to show you that you are better than the other guy she has bragging about for a couple of years, then maybe it will tell you where you really stand.