Originally Posted by Shamwow
Clearly anything is possible...but I would bet my left n*t that she wouldn't beat herself over the head, fall down the stairs, break a few ribs and pass out for hours in a pool of blood...on purpose, in order for me to feel sorry for her and raise her affair baby (and who would hurt themselves like that if they thought they may be pregnant?...she's not a rabbit boiler, as hurtful as she's been). She may have been drunk and slipped (instead of a seizure)...that's a far as I can take the realm of possibility.
OMW is very concerned about the possible pregnancy aspect (just talked with her), as that would pretty much be the last straw for her. I realllllly don't see it as a likely reality, a wild speculation at best.
I suppose I need to look into it, but let's just say my W wouldn't give me a straight answer on it unless she needed me real bad. I would have to be creative, and I haven't thought of one way to do that without being intruding and crazy guy w her or her gf. She's not pregnant guys. But I will do my best to verify.
As one of the leading advocates of "going dark" way back when, I'm now on the side of opening up the communication. Sham has clearly demonstrated that he can move on without her. However, uncertainty over R, her status and other issues that are out of Sam's control are contributing to Sham thinking about these things too much.
If work schedules allow, I would invite her out to lunch "in the interest of being civil." Of course, you should be prepared to ask her some tough questions in a straight-forward way that may give you closure if you never sit down to eat with her again. Foremost among these would be "Why did you do this to us?"
They say that the best cure for homesickness is going home. You recognize that "home" is not all that it's cracked up to be. That helps you move forward. More open communications now will help you recognize that the "home" of your pre-affair marriage no longer exists. The lingering thought of reviving the R will likely die of its own accord, and you'll have more psychological freedom moving forward.
Others will disagree with this idea. I think it's the one thing you need to do in order to move forward with your life.