ronnieswifey1120

I can definitely relate to your wife. I came from an abusive past which has caused me to really shut down. I actually just came clean with my husband about my past. Coming from a hard past, I have trouble trusting and when I feel "stuck," I immediately shut down. I've gone to therapists when I was younger but it didn't seem to help as much as having my husband in my life now.

We have problems and insecurities but there's just something about him that makes me feel safe. My past doesn't seem to haunt me very much anymore. My husband does a lot to prove to me that he is my knight in shining armor who will take me away from the pain. It hasn't been easy and I still tend to "relapse" from time to time. In the end, his unconditional love and support is what got me through the rough spots. He does get a bit impatient and stubborn but he really makes an effort to provide comfort and understanding.

One time we got into a huge fight and I felt like I lost all trust in him. It got REALLY bad and I won't elaborate too much. But it got to the point where I was kinda scared of him and would flinch when he'd attempt to touch me or come near me.. again, a relapse. He would say 'I love you' but I couldn't find the strength to say it back. It made him upset, then he calmed down and in the kindest voice said "I love you no matter what. When you're ready to tell me you love me again, I'll be here." After him saying that, it took me about 20 minutes to calm down and register. After it sunk in, we shared a non sexual intimate moment in the shower where we just emotionally connected again.

I think you need to just be patient and try your hardest to understand your wife. She's been through a lot and sometimes the cure to the pain is love and security. Once she feels secure with you, it will start to get better.

I really hope my reply helped a little. I felt connected to your wife for a moment! I'll pray for the both of you. Good luck to you both!!!