Originally Posted by Therealbrighteyes
I don't think I was getting off track. Ian's suggestion that the husband sacrificed "selflessly" with no mention of what the OP's wife sacrificed is ridiculous and that is why I posted what I did. This Kim Jong treatment that you two suggested is just wrong. Yes, there may be some underlying reason but I am suggesting that she is a new first time mother and some empathy is warranted.
More than likely, she doesn't realize she is doing this. I was fine after my first but after my second, I was a mess. The site of my body revolted me and the thought of being touched sexually was enough to make me cringe. Had he pressed the issue further, I would have been resentful as all get out. Sometimes it just takes time. It did with me.
May be I just don't understand, because I am having the same reaction to Catherine's posts, but why is he suppose to continue doing the same thing, perhaps even be nicer and expect a different result. I have looked at OP's posts, and it looks like he is trying to do these very things. The result has been 9 months of no sex while she was pregnant and nine months of no sex following the C-Section. In fact, he can't even touch her.
I am not advocating that he be a jerk, that he "demand" anything, or that he turn into Kim Jong. I am also not saying that he should not be supportive about the changes that have come for her and her life, or that he should be demanding sex the day she comes back from the hospital. My wife and I have three children, all C-Sections and I understand intellectually some of the things she went through.
But to advise him to continue to suck it up and be supportive seems silly. He is doing that and she is staying the same. I do think he needs to sit down with her, explain why physical contact and intimacy are important to him and his marriage. He should request that she get a full check up to rule out physcial issues, and suggest marriage counseling to help both of them get a handle on these changes. But I see nothing wrong with him explaining to her that a sexless marraige with no end in sight is not an acceptable outcome.